The Thong Farewell Song

It has been all over the news. Thongs are out. The Daily Mirror said it was the beginning of a "thong goodbye". The Daily Express said "thongs ain't what they used to be", the Sunday Times reported "Bottom falls out of the thong market" and according to the Guardian "The thong sinks to the bottom". What did the thong do to deserve such abject rejection? At least, from its supporters, because those whose sensibilities were offended by the pieces of floss appear to be in the majority.

The Sun reports that young girls find thongs dated, although the age group 25-43 is still buying G-strings. Apparently the fuller boyshort is gaining in popularity. But why this sudden resurgence of propriety? It is believed that women are chosing to "move away from overtly sexual clothing", as stated in the Sunday Times . As a result, thong sales now account for only 23 percent of the women's underwear market, a decline from 31 percent at the end of 2003.

Thong detractors are rejoicing at the shift in the trend for women, although apparently men's thongs are still selling like hot cakes. The Daily Mail's Erin Kelly appealed to British women everywhere to stop the madness: " 'Thong Man', as typified by Peter Stringfellow, is alive and well, and the market for men's skimpy smalls is booming. But there is hope, and it lies with us ladies." A survey has shown that 22 percent of women buy their partners' underwear. Therefore, she said: "the power to change things....is in our hands and our tool is the pants aisle in Marks & Spencer. Women of Britain , do the right thing!"

Amen to that. Personally, there is nothing scarier than a man in a thong. Second on the list of scary moments, is running into a senior citizen in the gym's changing room sporting a G-string. And Visible Panty Line aside, no one wants to see a thong poking out of a pair of jeans. That look went out with Tom Ford's departure from Gucci.